|
Holiday Revenge
By Brenda Barrios, Graphics Editor
Has it ever happened to you that just when you started liking your girlfriend or boyfriend's parents, they do or say something to get you mad? And how long have you waited to get back at them? Well, now, with the holiday family gatherings just around the corner, it is the perfect time to plan the ideal way to annoy them.
|
Parents are easily annoyed when they hear their teenagers talking about getting married at such a young age, so to freak them out, talk about getting married and about how long you've been waiting for this magical day to finally arrive.
Make future plans with your girlfriend or boyfriend in front of their parents; for example, discuss how many kids you wish to have and about how beautiful your home is going to look.
Parents hate seeing their kids so attached to someone other than themselves, so cuddle, hug, and eskimo kiss as much as possible, but always remember to be respectful, and don't overdue it by French kissing. The point is simply to bug, not be asked to leave.
Now that the traditional Christmas dinner is advancing, take advantage by planning to slurp all beverages and soups. This is guaranteed to annoy not only your future in-laws, but everyone else at the table as well.
Parents hate the fact that they are becoming old; they never want to accept the fact that they are not young anymore. Making comments about them soon becoming grandparents will definitely horrify them.
As soon as you have stuffed your mouth full of the Christmas turkey or ham, have the longest conversation possible. Chew your food with your mouth open. Spray some crumbs. In no time, his or her parents will be ducking, dodging, and otherwise completely avoiding you.
If at any time you notice they have started to calm down a bit, surprise them again by making stupid jokes, of which they are always the subject. Ask "Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape your hungry, fat mom."
Talk about an important time in your life, something you just can't stop talking about, and continue repeating it over and over and over and over...
Hummmm, hummmm as much and as loudly as you can. Try to hum annoying commercial jingles such as Old Navy Performance Fleece, the Gap, or the Meat and Cheese Boys ads. Try humming in the wrong key. If you decide to break into the lyrics, mix 'em up a bit. Be creative. How about Meat and Cheese Fleece?
Something that annoys everyone is the constant sound of a weird noise, especially if the sound occurs during dinner, so play "Little Drummer Boy" with your silverware. Or slap your mashed potatoes with the turkey drumstick. If anyone asks what you're doing, tell them you saw a lump.
Warning! It's critical that you inform your boyfriend or girlfriend ahead of time as to your intentions during the family gathering, or else they may misunderstand your behavior as an attempt to embarrass or humiliate them, not their parents. Make it clear who your target is in advance, and perhaps your mate will become your partner in crime as well as in life and love.
|
